[Static is broken by (gasp) a clear trasnmission. It is a view of Emperor Prosek (not Jimmy the Borg) sitting on his imperial throne, flanked by guards, with Joseph Prosek standing beside him.]
Emperor: My citizens, recently, a small band of vagabonds have laid waste to a small Coalition city outside of Iron Heart, and in their frenzy destroyed a Billy Beer factory in a pathetic attempt to frame the States and drive public opinion against its own government. But, like a snake swallowing its own tail, these ill-smelling soldiers have created their own deaths. Much like a Juicer without its deadly drugs, a Vagabond is powerless without its precious beer.
Joseph: As we speak, the Vagabond army procedes to drain its dwindling supply of Billy Beer. Coalition Grunts, flanked by CS Juicers and Super SAMAS, have secured every liquor store within 30 miles. It is only a matter of time before this pathetic threat is crushed by our peace-keeping forces. Citizens should not fear the upcoming battle: all civilians have been relocated from possible problem zones, and as we speak, super-sonic jets are importing Guiness from the New German Republic, with which to power our own Vagabond Soldiers. These terrorists stand no chance.
[Camera pans and zooms directly to a close-up of Emperor Prosek. He leans forward and clasps his hands together.]
Emperor: And now, if our drunken terrorists are listening, I have a dirtect message to you: The Coalition States have never bowed to terrorism, and we will certainly not bow down to any pathetic assualt by would-be drunken dictators armed with magical plastic! If you disperse now, and file back into the wilderness towns and burbs that spawned you, the States will be forgiving, but if you continue, you will be destroyed, one and all.
Emperor: Good Night, my citizens. Sleep peacefully in the knowledge that you military can and will protect you.
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