The UN-Official Swankytown Netbook
written by Tom Munkres

Swankytown is not just a city but a whole kingdom whose dimensional fabric is completely made up of brain waves. However, unlike the astral plane and places such as psyscape, Swankytown is an actual physical place. The brainwaves that make and sustain Swankytown are those of the imagination of it's residents. Thus, as with magic, believing is existing.

Swankytown actually does exist in Rifts Earth and it's entrance's work much like those of the Yucatan peninsula. Swankytown is a dimensional pocket nestled in the Willamette Valley on the site of what used to be Eugene, Oregon. In the "West" books the only thing mentioned anywhere nearby is a range of Psi-stalkers to the south (these are mostly a mix of Klamath indian mutated into psi-stalkers and led by a person named Captain Jack). The only way to enter the pocket is to cross one of the three Pre-rifts bridges, approach from a vector that leads you through the invisible "Swank window", by boat on the one of the two rivers that flow through the area, or come through the Mt. pass to the south of town.

The king and founder of Swankytown is Anubis Xy, Evil and goofy Necromancer extraordinair. He found the dimension ripe for development after it had been created by the death of the thousands of LSD eating hippies that inhabited the town before the Rifts. He began molding the energies of the place into a the shape of psycadelic builngs which stand to this day. As he worked, he met many different people in the area and the citizenry of the city began to grow. Some of the key people in the development of Swankytown were Anubis' Queen, Anya. Edopode and Tee-Moss, both of whom were put in charge of the different halves of Swanky town. Many other notable people came to the city and i prospered for a time.

However there was trouble brewing to the north. A town called Hipville which resided within the same sub-dimension, began to look greedily onto the swanky domain growing to the south and set out to conquer it. The Hipvillains began to use legions of Smurfs to overtake the Swanky builders of Swankytown. An Epic war ensued. and in the end Swankytown stood victorious over Hipville.

However, Swankytown's prosperity, for the next attack damged the very essence of the dimension itself. Rude and slanderous residents of the real world resented the neighbors that stole or distracted away people trying to visit their homes which lay in the same area geographivcally. By using the powers of disbelief and mootness they began to tear the veryswankyness that the town was built on. there were several attempts to save the town, but it was too much. and One day, King Anubis made this fateful speach.

: *Hangs head in shame* Ok everyone, Harland McGeegan has slapped me to my senses... Swankytown has devistated the boards, and I cannot bear to be the cause of those problems. I thought it was fun, and everyone was having a blast... I was wrong... Therefore, I hereby step down and am no longer Mayor. I pass the crown on to Tee-Moss and hope that he shall learn from my mistakes. Remember, Swankyness is a force that can be used for good or for evil... I have fallen to the Dark Side of Swankyness, and nearly dragged everyone along with me. However I realized what came to pass and decided to change my ways. Because of my actions, I no longer consider myself swanky and therefor, cannot remain in charge of Swankytown... just give me a nice house, a couple swanky undead demon temptresses and a bunch of cash and I'll be happy...

: AnubisXy
: No Longer Mayor of Swankytown

*accepts the crown and brethes a heavy sigh*
I had hoped to avert this day. *places a hand on Anubis' shoulder* But since our leader hath called us to a halt I must do the same. *puts on the crown* As the mayor of swankytown I hereby abolish all of this city to the imaginary realm wence it came. *points to the sky dramatically and a big green vortex appears* May the spirit of swank persist here forever, but this town has gone beyond the swanky goals which it was founded for. Now it must pay the price. *the entire town begins to stretch towards the mystical maelstrom* Come my friends, let us leave this place and allow our true selves return to the board, for we do not belong here any more. *the titles and abilities of the various swanky court members become shadowy wraiths and float ethereally out of their host's bodies to float up to the spirally portal* Anubis, you have served your town swankily and made the right decision. For this I confer upon you my former title as Vice-Leader and put you in my manor in the second swankiest half of swanky town. I shall have your temptresses sent there to prepare it for you immediately.
*turns to the Rifts Board Readers*
Hear this people! As Mayor of swankytown I decree that ye shall be less swanky. However, though our powers and town have been sen beyond. The power of swank itself still remains, be not unswanky unto your brothers and sister of the board lest ye be smote. Be swanky to each other and cross not the line. I shall be watching! May the swank be with you. Always.
*Tee-Moss' wraith form floats up into the vortex which closes behind him. The former citizens of Swankytown are left dazed by this. Where Tee-Moss once stood there is an average looking man in a business suit. He carries at his side an elegant briefcase and an expression of confidence on his face*
Good day everyone. I'm back.

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