10. Katherine for dimension warping purses. "Just the thing to hold your massive collection of mideivil weaponry!"
9. Rumy for asbestos shirts. "Great for when you expect to receive heat blasts to the chest, a growing problem in today's world."
8. Miller and Sully for suntan lotion. "Considering it keeps us from bursting into flame, we think it's a bargain at just..."
7. Will for acid-proof squirt guns. "When I buy a squirt gun, the thing I look for is an ability to convert it into a lethal weapon by loading it with acid. And I know that you do too. So I recommend..."
6. Thack for eyeglasses. "Use these glasses and I guarantee you'll never think the same way again. About glasses, I mean. Heh."
5. Hyperman for underwear. "Have you ever had hundreds of people see you wearing your underwear over your pants? I have, so I know how important it is that it looks its best. That's why I use..."
4. Agent Jones for sunglasses-by-the-ton. "Wait a second! Are you filming me? Turn that camera off!"
3. Alisin for pro-drug activists. "The tolerance I built up through massive and irresponsible use of narcotics helped me save the entire Earth from an interstellar incident. So, if you're in favour of the continued existence of this planet, write to your congressman in support of..."
2. Big Red for the planet Earth. DRAWING OF PLANET EARTH - DRAWING OF RUMY - DRAWING OF BIG RED AND RUMY WITH A LITTLE HEART BETWEEN THEM - DRAWING OF A THUMBS UP.
1. Shanna for hand lotion. "You may not think that having soft hands that easily take impressions of what you're holding could change your life, but..."